Freeing

33 comments


There are moments in your life, when realisation raises its head and hits you straight between the eyes. I had one of those moments this week

Let me set the scene. I was at a bus stop. A total stranger was giving me their life story. This part is not uncommon, although, it has been a while since I’ve waited for a bus, but strangers do have a habit of telling me about themselves, without me contributing much. Does this happen to other people? I could be stood in a queue, drinking coffee or minding my own business and next thing I know, I’m listening to someone’s life story.  Seriously, it is amazing what people will share, and I’ll be honest, I do like to hear their stories. I must seem very trustworthy. I’m sure there is an organization somewhere that would recruit me for this skill alone. It is my super power.

Anyway, the bus was late. In fact, it had unnervingly disappeared from the overhead, electronic screen which counts down the minutes until it should arrive. Nervousness was starting to set in.

I was on my way in to town for a hospital appointment. One of those routine, preventative scans that take 10 minutes to do, but a zillion hours to travel to and from. For me at least, as we live out in the sticks. I’d opted to go by bus, as I knew the city centre was clogged up with road works, making it easy to end up going the wrong way. Taking the bus seemed sensible.

As I sat, listening to the stranger at the bus stop, who every minute that past, felt less and less like a stranger, I wasn’t so sure I’d made the right decision to go by bus. Would this bus ever arrive? It wasn’t too late to change my mind. I still had a choice. I could walk home and pick up my car, or stick it out. One put the control in my hands. The other did not. I felt my level of anxiety starting to rise in an uncomfortable and alarming way.

It was at that point, that I had the flash of realisation. When had I changed. I used to be happy to go with the flow, but not now. I’m more comfortable being firmly in control. When did I start to believe that everything had to happen, in a set way. Yes, it was an appointment. I didn’t really want to miss it, but stuff happens. Life sometimes takes you an unexpected way, which can be good too. I’ve been fighting it and missing out.

So, I sat it out. I waited for the bus. I’d leave it to fate and take the consequences. What will be, will be. Now fate, apparently was on my side, as the bus turned up soon after and I got to my appointment with minutes to spare.

Not the most exciting story, I grant you. You’d probably be more interested in the stranger’s humdinger of a tale. I have to say, it was a good one, but no, I won’t share it. One day, I might just roll all the bus stop story tellers into characters for a book. It would be interesting.

Putting my trust in fate, did change my mind set for the rest of the week. I started to notice how I like to take control and maybe I shouldn’t all the time. Maybe I should let others put their spin on it and grow.

I suspect this has crept up as the children have grown. I have three children with adventures/activities I need to coordinate. In an attempt to please everyone, these adventures have to be dovetailed together, leaving no manoeuvring room. If you have older children, I know you are nodding your head at the moment.

Also, when I can’t control a situation, it stresses me. Like last week. It seriously knocked me off my stride. I know it’s true of most people, but I let it get to me. So this week, I have consciously let situations go. See what happens. Instead of grinding my teeth over situations I cannot control, I’ve grabbed my camera and gone outside. Rather than hitting my head against a brick wall, I baked cake. Plenty of other issues that are in my hands to solve, why waste energy on ones that grind you down.

It has been good.

Joining in with Jocelyn’s #wotw. Freeing. What’s your word?

 

Debs Random Writings

33 comments

  1. Isn’t it strange how our need to be in control can take over. I’ve had to give up a lot of control since getting sick and it hasn’t been easy, but fate always has a way of taking over anyway. I always think cake is the answer 🙂
    I have your super talent too, oh the stories I’ve been told. Yet, I’d never start a conversation with a stranger myself or tell them my stories.
    #wotw

    1. You do hear some amazing stories, don’t you? Often wish I could hear what happened to these people, but maybe they wouldn’t open up again. I can’t imagine sharing in the same way. I do share on my blog, but I get a chance to edit, which they don’t. I’m sure it is therapeutic for them and if I’ve helped by listening, then that’s my good turn for the day.

  2. I like to be in control and when I am not it stresses me out. I know I should let things go a little and not worry as much about the little things.
    hahah! I always get random people telling me their life stories at places like bus stops. We must have one of those faces which attracts them.

  3. Yes, I can completely relate. I know that this is what I do and am aware that I am doing it. I feel so much better if I can let things go, rather than getting wound up by things that I cannot control. It’s just hard to do sometimes, but so worth the moment to calm down and let go. Glad you managed it and made it to your appointment x Thanks for sharing with #WotW

  4. I love your superpower. I definitely also get people telling me their stories. Maybe it is because you are a great listener. But I also totally relate to your feeling that you need to be in control ALL the time. It is very hard to let go of that, so well done you for admitting that it is a stressed and going towards letting it go Really enjoyed this post !. #WOTW

  5. I get this, I am quite a chilled person, a just turn up person that never worries about arrangements, however the older the boys have got the harder this has become. But i love nothing more than listening to strangers stories, I love that people have so much to share x

  6. I would definitely buy that book if you ever wrote it Cheryl ! I seem to have one of those faces too, although I have a knack for attracting people of the odd (shall we say) variety. I don’t mind though it certainly keeps life interesting. I can totally relate about the anxiety, I get so stressed if I think I will be late for something I need to take a leaf out of your book more often and just let life happen. Have a great weekend x

  8. I like to feel that things are in control for the most part but sometimes I too have had fun by mixing things up and doing something out of the ordinary. #mmbc

  9. I found this so relatable Cheryl! I hold on to everything and it really can have a huge impact on my mood and my week. I’m going to take your words into consideration next time something gets to me. Thank you! 🙂 #WotW

  10. This was a wonderful read, thank you, and I can very much relate to it. Love what you say at the end about doing photography or baking a cake rather than struggle with things and worries which are often out of our control anyway. I do those things too, and I wish my hubby would learn to use the same strategies more often, rather than keep mulling things over xx #MMBC

    1. It is an easy to trap to fall into. Less easy to get out of. I know I have to be spot I’m doing it. Cake and camera is a definite help, but also talking too.

  13. It can be so freeing to let go of that need to control. I’m glad it worked out for you at the bus stop and you managed to make it to your appointment on time. I get people telling me their life stories at bus stops too. Love the photo of the dragonfly at the start of your post. #WotW

  14. This exact feeling happens to me too. Most of the time I feel things going swimmingly, and them one day – for seemingly no reason – my anxiety skyrockets. It usually is attributed to putting too many things of my plate and feeling like I’m drowning under the pressure. Once I take a step back and try to unschedule a bit I almost always feel better.

    Sometimes trusting in fate is all you can do.
    ~Jess
    #MMBC

  15. Hi Cheryl, I have a friend who is a people magnet and have witnessed total strangers end up in deep conversation with her, which is something I myself have rarely experienced. It must be my face or something. Saying that though I had a near stranger telling me all about the boil he had in an uncomfortable place whilst rifling through the cherries in Lidls. Needless to say, I left the cherries and left him to it!… I did indeed find myself nodding my head in agreement to wanting to control things. Not all the time, but in certain situations. It must stem from raising a family and the only way to manage everything in a day is by being in control-ish… Now I would love to hear what that stranger told you, bet it was juicy?

    Thank you for linking up with #keepingitreal.

    1. I reckon it was planned. He wanted to select the cherries in peace. I think raising a family does mean you have do take control in order to make it work.

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