You are Worthy

Last night, I made a bookmark. I lose bookmarks all the time and end up using receipts or tickets instead, which stick around long enough for me to finish the book. Not purpose made bookmarks. No, they must go to the same place as the pens and the other sock in a pair, soon after the first few chapters. So I dug out my embroidery threads and stitched  “You are Worthy” on to canvas, in the hope that this bookmark will be harder to misplace.

It is a phrase that has been haunting me. Whispered quietly, at first, when I started my fitness journey and started making more time for me, almost a year ago, then louder during a guided meditation session, more recently. Like, I suspect, most mothers, I put my own needs in second place during the hay days of child rearing. I do not begrudge this at all and I would play it exactly the same way given a second chance, but times are changing. My youngest turns 18 in the summer and the older two are busy doing their thing, so now I have a bit more time for me. My calendar has switched from after school activities to my fitness classes, gym sessions and social events.

Bookmark

So back to the bookmark. I picked up “Sisters Gonna Stitch” from a charity shop a few months ago.

I have to admit that I didn’t consider myself as a feminist when I was younger. It seemed to involve burning bras and linking arms, so I wasn’t interested. Not my scene, I thought, as I marched into a career in a heavily male dominated industry. First day in the job,  I looked around the open plan office and wondered where all the older women were. I didn’t see myself in five or ten years among the few women that I could see.

Long story short, I loved the job and stayed there for six years, so I guess I became that person who I was looking for, and hopefully made it a more welcoming environment for the next intake of women. Maybe I was more of a feminist than I realised.

Back to the present, combining feminism and stitching seemed a fun idea. I poured through the book at the time, bookmarking the ones I particularly liked. This wasn’t one of them. I think because it was a single word and could be taken several ways. Instead, I added the “You are” to make a stronger sentiment.

It’s not perfect and I do not mind in the least. I haven’t embroidered for a while and enjoyed every single stitch. Now every time I reach for my current reading book, there is a soft reminder that I am worthy. You are worthy. Taking time for myself is more than acceptable.

(Also buying another pair of gym leggings for myself from Sweaty Betty’s half price sale, this weekend, is also an acceptable thing to do.)