December babies

I have a theory. I’ll admit it’s still being tested, but I think you can spot an adult born in December a mile off. I’m excluding children in this theory, as they infuriatingly can throw an anomaly into the results, but grown-ups are easier to spot. They will be the ones that are just that little bit more excited about Christmas than everyone else around them. I have noticed, that they are likely to display certain similar behaviours too.

There are exceptions, of course, and my results should be viewed with caution, as there are flaws. For a start, my test sample is restricted, mainly to the UK, with evidence from the rest of Europe, the US and Canada.

Also, my testing is dubious as it is more anecdotal. Based totally on those moments when I find myself saying “I knew you were a December baby!” Putting aside my woolly test criteria, I think I have a strong enough case to attract investment for further research.

Here are ten ways to spot a December birthday:

1. They wear their Christmas jumpers with glee. A serious, unabashed bounce in their step, as they act like walking adverts for the season. They were literally born to wear a reindeer jumper with candy canes down the sleeves. They will have been wearing socks, with robins on them, from before 1st December.

2. They’ll start humming seasonal songs, even before the Halloween cobweb decorations have attracted their own cobwebs. Forgive them. They may not realise, but it is hard programmed into their DNA. It was probably the first music they heard.

3. They are the ones that instigated booking up the restaurant for the office Christmas bash soon after the summer holiday. They may claim that the best places book up quickly. This is not the real reason. They are just too excited to wait any longer.

4. They are counting down the days till the Christmas ads, from the big stores, are released. They know the release dates. They will also be the ones that can’t wait to discuss the ads with you.

5. They buy the chocolate coins as soon as they appear in the shops, just in case they run out.

6. They spend more time grinning in November and December than the rest of the year. (This is a marginal difference). Most realise that they have a tendancy to treat every seasonal party as a run up, or an extension, to their own birthday, and will attempt to tone down the Cheshire cat smile.

7. If you ask them, at any time of the year, what their top three films are, at least one will be a Christmas film, preferably featuring several scenes with snow in it.

8. Christmas decorations will start to appear around them, long before anyone else.

9. They will have more Christmas traditions than anyone else. Best not to ask.

10. They have a sixth sense that allows them to recognize each other as fellow December babies. This sense seems most active within a radius equilivant to 6 lengths of tinsel tied together in a long length. No one knows the significants of this measurement and may be a possible area of research.

There are some fun, non-December babies that show the same characteristics, but there is one last test that never fails.

Of all the months to be born in, if you are born in December, you are more likely to slip it into conversation at any time. Most often, sometime during the run up. This is usually offered as an explanation for their house being already decked out before December and the Christmas music playing in the background.

Probably should mention before I finish, for the sake of true transparency, of course, but did I mention my birthday is December? Yes, that is mistletoe I’m knitting.

“Fa la la la la, la la la la.”

That said.. or sung…I now feel free to talk about Christmas and seasons cheer, as much as I like! Anyone else?