Dear Daughter: About the 10 second rule

Friendship no 39 The Farmer's Wife quiltDear Daughter,

I’ve finished another block for your Dear Daughter quilt. This time it’s the Friendship block. Quick research shows that, there are many blocks out there with the same name, which seems to suggest that quilting, patchwork and friendship have a tight bond. I like the sentiment.

It conjures up images of people sitting together, stitching and righting the world with their words. That image warms my heart.

For the quilt block’s four corners, I selected fabric that were different and individual from each other, but still had a loose connection. If only in my mind! I like the way that the grey overlaps them all to show a friendship bond. Connecting them. I hope it suggests a good group of friends.

Friendship no 39 The Farmer's Wife quilt with snakes head fritillary

Friendships are made and friendships are lost. In between those juxtapositions, friendships are tested and/or strengthened. It’s all part of growing up, and beyond.

I know we’ve talked a lot about the subject over the years. I’ve tried to guide you and provide you with tools to help. Including all the sayings that I learnt from my mother, which were probably passed on from hers. Sayings like, “if you’ve nothing nice to say, say nothing”.

A few months ago, you taught me a new saying. The ten second rule. The idea is that if your friend cannot correct something in 10 seconds, don’t tell her (or him). Friendship no 39 The Farmer's Wife quilt with plant

So it’s OK to let her quietly know that she has a bit parsley stuck between her teeth, or her skirt hem is hitched up. It’s not OK to refer to her size or hair colour/style, for example. They could not be corrected in 10 seconds. The words might sap the confidence of your friend.

It’s a good rule. I’m sure a friend will let you know if they want to talk about subjects outside the 10 second rule, but it really is up to them to decide when.

So thank you for teaching me. I’ve passed this rule on to your siblings too. I hope it helps us all to strengthen the friendships that matter the most to us.

As ever

your loving Mother.


This is part of my Dear Daughter quilt project. One letter for each quilt block. Ending ultimately in a quilt that I can hand over to my Eldest daughter, along with a clutch of letters. To find other quilt blocks in this series, click here.

Super Busy MUm

6 thoughts on “Dear Daughter: About the 10 second rule

  • Wednesday 6 April, 2016 at 12:29 pm
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    The 10 second rule is something I could learn from too. Your daughter is very wise.
    I really like this block. Your quilt is going to be amazing and something to be cherished.

    • Thursday 7 April, 2016 at 9:54 am
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      It’s probably something that we all do naturally. Maybe 80% of the time. Giving it a name helps to sort out the 20% that slips past. 🙂

  • Thursday 7 April, 2016 at 12:00 am
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    I thought it was going somewhere like the two second rule, if you pick food up that you’ve dropped within two seconds it’s okay to eat it. I do not follow this rule if the item is sticky and has landed on my living room carpet 1 hour + after a vacuum. I have two dogs, this would be a serious health risk.

    The 10 second rule I think is a great one. If a person wants to talk about those things they will find a way of opening that conversation.

    • Thursday 7 April, 2016 at 9:57 am
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      I’m with you on the 2 second rule, although I’m not so keen on eating it after its hit the floor, which ever side it lands. Truth be told, I would have to be quick. Usually one of our dogs has got there first. Darn fast. 🙂

    • Friday 8 April, 2016 at 10:39 pm
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      I thought it was a neat rule. One of those rules which will pop up at the right moment.

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