Encouraging creativity
“Comparison is the thief of joy”
If you have a table of children crafting side by side, one of two things is likely to happen. Either they will inspire each other or it falls to bits, with one child slipping from their chair and declaring they “can’t do it”.
Cue crumpled up paper falling to floor.
It can all change in a split second. One moment they are chattering. Encouraging each other. Next pencils are downed. A glance at the work next to them, may be all it takes. The power of comparison is tangible.
Not an unfamiliar event for the youngest of the family. Sigh.
Being a youngest child, I can empathise with my last born. Somehow you forget that older siblings have several years more practise. Even then, everyone’s journey is different. The older ones probably chose and lead the project. With less years under your belt, you also probably don’t fully appreciate that we are all individuals and have our own style.
It can be tough.
This summer, I’ve set up a few art and craft projects that give him a chance to succeed. No right or wrong. No comparisons. Working on his own style.
He’s had the clock movement for a couple of years, but couldn’t settle on a clock face. We found a basic wooden one in Hobby Craft. He loves street art and comic style. I suggested keeping it simple would keep it on the wall for longer. He pointed out that he could always change it later. I like his way of thinking.
So he went for splatter paint. Boy, did he have fun. Our front path was speckled with colourful paints for days after he finished. 
Is he happy with the results? You bet he is. He did his own thing and succeeded. His clock will hang on his bedroom wall for all to admire, and the ticks of the second hand will be a constant reminder to be himself.
Am I happy? Yes. The project was finished. That on its own is a major success. He’s pleased to display it too. Not a crumpled paper moment. My heart sings. For one moment at least, I’m riding the parenting wave.
(Cue Beach Boy sound track, and sunset)
Dear Daughter: About the Sunday Blues
Part of my Dear Daughter Quilt project.
A letter and a quilt block
Dear Daughter
It is time to name and shame the Sunday Blues. Too long it has run riot and ruined hours of our weekend, only to be joined by the Mondays. Like a mischievous sprite it jumps up, dancing its jig and pointing at us, as it jeers at our increasing misery. Sapping joy by its sheer presence.
I’ve had enough. I’m taking back control. I want my Sundays back. Specifically Sunday evenings. It doesn’t even create the best rhythm with the name of the day*. Hardly lyrical to my ear. It should be the Tuesday Blues….oh, but maybe I shouldn’t suggest that.
There, I’ve made it into a mythical being now. A sprite. You’ll be imagining it as a dancing stick man. And that is the point. We create it. It is all in our heads. Which also means that we can banish it. Trust me.
I’m starting a campaign to rid us, or at least in our house, of the end of the weekend blues. And this is how I’m going to do it, but I need your help.
Step 1: Do things on time. Take the bull by the horn. Clear your desk of work by Friday. Don’t leave it till after the weekend. This is just providing food to the Sunday Blues. In fact, it’s a favourite morsel. Something for it to nag or prod you with all weekend, especially in the last hours before bedtime on Sunday.
Step 2: Make a list of all the things that you need to do the next week. Seriously, write it down. Left in your head, the sprite will bounce them around, juggling them, so you lose track. The items will seem to grow and multiply, like counting a flock of birds that keep hopping from one branch to another.
As the numbers seem to increase, you’ll catch glimpses of one, only for it to be snatched away again, before you can resolve it, and replaced with another to taunt you. Let the paper take the strain. Make a list.
Step 3. Let’s do something fun on Sunday evening, so we can look forward to it. Maybe a games night. Keep a league table, so we can look forward to next week and beating our personal bests. Or a craft activity. Maybe share a book together. Creating a cliff hanger that will only be revealed the next week. We’ll set some time aside.
Step 4. OK, another list. Every Friday night, write a happy list. Write down everything that happened the previous week that went well. Made you happy. Made you smile. Things that made you proud. Refer to it as soon as the Sunday Blues peeps round the corner. Even batter it around the head with it. The worst kind of treatment for a Sunday Blues sprite. They can’t work their mischief with a happy thought.
Step 5: When you do find the sprite loitering, pick it up by the ears and kick it out. One ….long, …..swinging …..kick to the derriere. Or else, swing above your head and release.
(Word to the wise: Remember to wash your hands properly afterwards. Sunday Blues Sprite’s ears are seldom clean, if you follow my drift. What do expect when they pick up so much dirt on people.)
You created it, you can get rid of it.
If we all do these five steps then Sunday Blues will have gone. Our weekends will be ours once more. Let’s enjoy every moment and not wish time away. What do you reckon? Shall we give it a go?
As ever
Your loving mother
*Admittedly it depends on your accent. Tuesday and blue have the same vowel sound when I say it. I like the rhythm in words.
PS if you have liked this letter, remember the rest of them can be found here
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