Dear Daughter: About being Positive

No 75 Rosebud Farmer's Wife sampler QuiltDear Daughter

I’m back with another quilt block and letter. Your Dear Daughter quilt is growing. As is the clutch of letters.

I really like this patchwork block. It’s called Rosebud. Somehow I’ve managed to flip the pattern over, which I’m fine with. Eye catching isn’t it? The red against the yellow. I love the raggedy ends of the petals. Probably just me, but they remind me of prayer flags flapping and fraying in the wind. A reassuring image.

This is a patchwork block I would like to do again. I think it would look good en masse in different fabrics but the same design repeated.

No 75 Rosebud Farmer's Wife sampler Quilt letterWhile I’ve been stitching, we had an interesting conversation this week. We often do, but this time you told me about the people at school who you find good to be around. I was so pleased to hear you talk about these friends.

You describe them all as positive people. They don’t drag you down. Even when they are unhappy about something, they are somehow upbeat. Most importantly, you know they are approachable and easy to get on with.

I thought your observations were insightful. They sound like wonderful people and I’m glad you know them. It made me ponder. What is it about a person that makes them positive? I’m talking more about the definition of a positive person rather than how they became positive. I won’t go into the nature -v- nuture debate here. Instead, I’ve jotted down a few ideas about how I would define a positive person:No 75 Rosebud Farmer's Wife sampler Quilt with the Wrench

They have a genuine smile. One that reaches all the way to their eyes. I first heard that description in Danny the Champion of the World and it is so true.

They use positive words and phrases with ease. Instead of “I hate“, they use “I like“. Instead of “I can’t“, they use “I’d like to have a go.”

They see others as equals and not as instant competition. Or someone that needs to be squashed so they themselves can rise above. Instead they enjoy hearing about other people’s successes.

My personal favourite. They look for silver linings. The most successful silver linings are ones that move you forward. They may cause a smile (“it’s raining.” “Great for the ducks“) or open doors (“I’m too late.” “Nevermind, now’s the perfect time to do that something I’ve been wanting to do.”)

They share positive moments. Believe me, a positive moment is multiplied once it’s shared. Ten fold, at the minimum. Ask a teacher how they feel after they are able to compliment a student on something done well. Or a small child spotting something for the first time and sharing it with others.

No 75 Rosebud Farmer's Wife sampler Quilt with other blocks

They surround themselves with other positive people. Like minded folk will flock together. It does work the other way round too. (If you are miserable…..)

Goodness. I could go on, but I suspect you have some ideas that you would like to add. I’m sure this is a conversation that we will return to.

I like that you take a moment to understand. You can see the good in people. I hope that you are forever surrounded by people that make you feel good too. People who can turn the negative on its head to expose the shiny positive side of the coin.

As ever

Your loving mother

I’ve updated the Dear Daughter page to include photos of all the patchwork blocks so far. Would love to know which is your favourite.

6 thoughts on “Dear Daughter: About being Positive

  • Friday 5 February, 2016 at 6:54 pm

    Interesting post.
    Joyce Grenfell talking about a sense of humour quoted her Dad who equated a sense of humour with a sense of proportion. I think he had a point!
    I think a focus on the positive is a very sound survival and life enhancing strategy .
    There are certainly enough things that occur in life than can pull us down and make us miserable.
    It took me a long time to realise that searching out the company of positive people (not unrealistic sun is always smiling ones ..but those who can find the funny side to life’s downers where possible) and avoiding negative people makes a huge difference in how I felt, how pleasurable life was and also my ability to cope with the tough times.
    Negative people are energy sapping , draining and depressing. I’m not suggesting people can’t be sad, scared or unhappy’s just these events are more survivable with a companion who is on the look out for the life-belt rather than planning the funeral …lol
    I used to struggle through educational in-service courses (a special universal hell) and it was not until I realised that I must consciously spot and gather positive people that they became tolerable even fun. I remember one especially where one of the leaders came to our table to find out the source of the hilarity on the lone noisily cheerful table in a very large room of rather a lot of tables and it was us having a good time. Just because we’d decided we wanted to and could :o)

    • Friday 5 February, 2016 at 7:49 pm

      Could not agree more. Dealing with negativity can be draining. The tone, the pace, the words and even the posture of the speaker can bring anyone around them down. Fortunately positivity is just as contagious. I’m glad you found yourself among people who know how to see the lighter side of life. Also nice to have a bit of Joyce Grenfell quoted. I vote for more! I like your concept of life-belts rather than funerals. It does make a difference. I can make all the difference. Here’s to finding the positive people in your life.

      • Friday 5 February, 2016 at 8:17 pm

        Quite agree “Cheers” raises wine glass and toasts (actually it’s coffee ….wine at 10.15 am might be a problem 😀 )

        • Friday 5 February, 2016 at 10:05 pm

          It’s OK. I’m in the right time zone, so happy to raise as many glasses as required! 🙂

  • Sunday 7 February, 2016 at 10:40 am

    It is better to be surrounded by positive people. I know I have migrated away from a group recently precisely for this reason, as the only positive person there I couldn’t hold all that negativity up any longer. I think the reason for negativity is complex and often stems from a disfunctional, unloving background which doesn’t go away once you become an adult as it becomes your foundation from which your personality grows.

    I love these posts and I do like this square the contrasts are great!

    • Friday 12 February, 2016 at 2:39 pm

      It can be the hardest move to leave a group. It sounds like you have made a positive decision which is good for you. I’m a firm believer that all people can continue to grow, whatever their background. Who knows. You may have left an acorn of positivity behind.

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